Trick or Treat

Top Ten Inappropriate Halloween Costumes to Wear to Work Tomorrow:

1. Loraina Bobbit (complete with bloody knife and appendage made of pork sausage)
2. Slutty Care Bear
3. Bratz
4. Terri Shaivo
5. The Little People, Big World family
6. Jon Benet Ramsey
7. Mammy
8. The Girls Next Door
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. A Congressional Page
    

Woof.

Recently, I've acquired a sweet onery little dog named Max. Max is very cute and cuddly, but tends to be over-excited about life and I decided he needed to learn how to be a good citizen. Jumping on people is rude.

So, we signed up for dog training class. Friends, this is a whole other world I was not aware of. Unbeknownst to me, there was entire dog subculture teaming under the surface of our day to day lives. Suddenly, Max and I were thrown into an environment of competitive collar and leash combinations, snide comments about the size of particular dogs, and, tears, yes, tears, at the thought of telling the dog no.

In the last three weeks, Max has learned to sit (most of the time), walk on a leash without pulling (when he wants to), and that the spray bottle is bad. I have learned how to "speak dog owner," the subtle, but significant difference between big dog people and small dog people, and, most disgustingly, which brand of plastic bag is best for picking up poop.

How far we've come.

Mea Culpa

Dear Reader:

I have been an awful correspondent during the last month. Among my excuses, I have moved, gotten a dog and generally been overwhelmed at work. I promise, it will not happen again. (well, more like I'll try to not let it happen again.)

xoxoxo,
May or May Not