2006, A Space Odyssey

As a person born in the 70s (late 70s, but still), when I was little the year two thousand-anything sounded very far off and filled with gadgets we dreamed up on the Jetsons. I gotta say, I'm still waiting for Rosie to come and clean up after me.

Who would have thought we'd come so far, and yet, not so far at all. In a world were we can talk to people across the continent or across town while in our car, how is that we still don't know so much about one another? How come we've got all these things to make our lives "easier" and "simple," and they clutter up my purse, my car and my house and seem to add more steps?

And so, for 2006, I've decided to keep it real...er, simple. Why reach for the palm pilot when a piece of paper will do? I'll set aside my iPod in favor of some life music every once in a while. And, unlike Lance Bass, I will not be pursuing a trip to space.

A Holiday Postmortem

Hello, readers. Another holiday has passed and I am at work this morning trying to combat the emails filling my Inbox. However, I am in a fleece and jeans, so somehow it makes it okay. Between deleting things promising to make my penis larger (which, I admit, would be a feat) or yet another piece of breaking news, I have been reflecting on this year's holiday season.

I would say it has been in the top 10 of Christmases, but am not sure why. It may be because I did not receive an American Girl doll, as I did when I was sixteen and was expecting a CD player instead (note to grandmas everywhere: this is the WRONG gift for a girl already battling the dramas of puberty) or maybe it's because for the first time that I can remember, we didn't have to drive anywhere on Christmas Day---family came to us. There is something wonderfully delicious about staying in comfy clothes all day, sitting in front of the fire and trash-talking euchre with your grandmother.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas (Eve)

Merry Christmas to all!

Amazing Grace

I'm recovering on the couch right now after spending last night at the hospital and meeting Friend Jessica's new baby girl, Grace. Mom, Dad and Baby are doing well and can't take their eyes off each other.

I've decided I'm in the perfect position--doting auntie who gets to spoil the child, but return her home at the end of the day. And, I didn't even have to get an epideral!

Two Thumbs Up

'Tis the season of Tiny Tim and warm hearts...and tears induced by Disney and (who would have thought?) HBO documentaries about paper clips. For those of you who have not gone to see Chronicles of Narnia...go! It does justice to the books we loved as a kid (or adult) and dang if you don't want to just stand up and cheer alongside Lucy, Edmund, Peter and Susan. And, lovely bits to analyze and compare to The Good Book itself.

Regarding paper clips, I got sucked in to the story on HBO portraying one tiny community's school project to collect 6 million paper clips to have a physical representation of how many Jews died during the Holocaust. Suffice it to say, I was an emotional goner after the principals and teachers started tearing up, much less the visit from the Holocaust survivors from New York who gave their testimony in a packed Methodist church in the middle of Appalachia. (A much better representation of the good folks of Tennessee than Dollywood, I would think).

Just a couple suggestions to fit in between A Christmas Story and watching that crazy Chevy Chase celebrate the holidays for the thousandth time.

Auld Lang Syne

As one year closes and the next comes upon us, I've decided to compose my own Big in 2005, in no particular order.

• Girl Friends. In the past year, my amazing comrades have given birth, gotten married, traveled all over Brazil while working on a thesis, made major life decisions, bought and sold houses, persevered through illness and, generally, made me darn proud to call them a friend. Most importantly, they have all continued to be the wise, strong, clever women that support me and brighten my life every day.
• Pink. Who knew this lovely little color would come back with a vengeance? Pink is no longer for little girls and Hello Kitty...even The Donald has embraced the pink power shirt. Can lime green be far behind?
• Jib Jab. Often the only political touchstone for my brothers (and the rest of a grateful nation), these funny little cartoons have made it cool to talk blue and red, dove and hawk again. And I'm all for anyone who takes on the big box store.
• Mother Nature. Tsunami, hurricane, earthquake, tornado...you name it, we had it. However, like a phoenix, we've risen from the ashes, shaken ourselves off and realized that we aren't so far away from one another after all.
• Books. From Oprah's book club to Harry Potter mania, at least we are all reading something. Some of my favorites from the last year: Kite Runner, Secret Life of Bees and Jon Stewart's America.
• Ipod. Who knew it would be so fun to carry around enough music to listen to for the next 67 days? Personally, I could listen to three weeks of 80s pop and 90s hip-hop alone.
• The Truth. After some nauseating years of ostrich-like behavior, we've finally started to demand the truth from our president and his posse. Now, come on, tell me Karl Rove doesn't look shifty just by looking at him?
• Celebrity Trash Magazines (my personal drug of choice). I admit it, I have a problem (isn't that the first step to recovery?). Sit a copy of US Weekly, Ok!, In Touch or People in front of me and I will devour it, cover to cover, without ceasing. I have a small problem with making the lives of celebrities enter into my own to the point where I know the details of Nick and Jessica's makeups and breakups more than I know important things like the plots and subplots of War and Peace. It seems this year has brought a rush of these mags to the bookstore and I've probably dropped some considerable cash just to look at pictures of stars (they're just like us! --us weekly) or even non-stars (Chloe what's-her-face). Maybe I will give up on crap literature next year...or maybe 2007 would be a better time to try cold turkey.

Get Out The Vote (a surprisingly serious post from May or May Not)

A big bravo today to the Iraqi citizens who have "gotten out the vote" in a far greater fashion than we apathetic Americans seem to. Let us all hope that this is the start of something amazing in that region---and the beginning of the return of American troops.

Score: Democracy 1 Crazy Dictator 0

For news coverage:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051216/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq (Yahoo)
http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/meast/12/16/iraq.elections/index.html (CNN)
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/16/international/middleeast/16sunnis.html?ei=5094&en=7be33c83a466e7ce&hp=&ex=1134795600&adxnnl=1&partner=homepage&adxnnlx=1134742215-4z+ZrHC/uN0T9mdj7g1oiw (New York Times)

Stop in the Name of the Law!

How exciting! Tonight I get the oh-so-cool experience of observing a focus group. Not only is this fun research stuff for work, it also means that I get to be the person sitting behind one of those two-way mirrors. I'm considering dressing up as a cop (plainclothes, so as not to attract attention, but wearing some sort of badge) to make the experience all the more fun.

Unfortunately, our consultant is on the up and up, so in actuality it will probably be 10 people sitting around a conference table over-dosing on diet coke. Maybe I can run in to the room screaming "citizen's arrest!" at some point to spice it up a bit.

Updates on Past Posts

• True to the apocalyptic warnings, the new parking passes have caused untold horrors in the parking garage. Every day, we continue to get new emails about how to use the passes appropriately---don't wave them at the machine, don't bite them and yes, they are different than the old ones. Oh, the horrors.
• My friend from the baby shower still has her bun in the oven, so to speak. Consequently, we are on high alert for calls from her and are all prepared to make our way to the hospital at any given moment. I sorta feel like a doctor on call.
• The snow is meelllttinngg (said in the Wicked Witch of the West voice) around here and the blizzard is officially over.
• As of yet, I've received no free gifts as a result of my shopping guide. This is making me feel morally superior, as if I am doing some sort of service to the world.
• The dog story is spreading far and wide. I am happy to say that in a short time I should be getting some sort of forward that will be filled with only the basic storyline plus a lot of stuff that has been made up. The story has been told to friends and friends of friends of friends of friends all over the US of A and even other continents. The good news---you heard it here first.

Doogie hearts Willa

So I had the lovely pleasure of watching My Antonia on HBO this week, starring the one and only Neil Patrick Harris (post-Doogie). While it does have the cinematography of a Hallmark movie, it is pretty good overall, if only that anyone who will make a Willa Cather movie is on the up and up in my book (pun intended).

It has also reconfirmed my opinion that being a pioneer really was not as fun as Caddie Woodlawn and Laura Ingalls made it out to be. Stringing cranberries around the Christmas tree really doesn't make up for the lack of electricity, communication and transportation. And let's not forget those nasty incidents down at the crick.

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

Today, a blizzard hit Indiana. When I say blizzard, I mean more like 7 inches, but still. If I were Queen of the World, anytime there was more than 2 inches of snow, everything would shut down...except for Target and Starbucks (as if we could survive without the staples). That way, instead of dreading snow and the impending doom of traffic, we could do as we did in elementary school and spend the day sleeping in, watching daytime TV and building snowmen (or women).

In other current events, a real shocker. DJ Adam and Nicole Richie have called off their engagment. I know, I should have told you to sit down. This is nearly as surprising as Madonna learning a new yoga pose.

Well, I'm off to watch the OC. Teenage angst just never gets old.

Step back, Chicken Little.

Well, this week at work the sky is falling. No, there hasn't been a recent down-sizing announcement or a directive to cut the budgets by 25%.

The parking passes have changed. Or will be changed soon. Or should have been changed. Or might be changed from morning to night. Or might change tomorrow or yesterday. We've received frantic emails from the facility people on all accounts. What to do if your pass doesn't work, what to do when it does work, what to do when you arrive and the old system is still in place, what to do if it's the new system, what to do if, God forbid, the system changes while you are inside at work and it's different when you exit the building.

I am just imagining people in an absolute panic as they pull up the parking garage. Screaming, pulling out their hair, throwing themselves onto the ground as the bar refuses to raise. Oh, the agony.

A Few Little Tips, From Me to You

In honor of my office holiday party tonight, I thought I'd give a few helpful hints for all your merry-making:

1. When attending your holiday party, don't be "that girl." You will know you are she if you are the only person left at the party and the hosts are shoving coffee down your throat in an attempt to sober you up.
2. Inevitably, you will have a high number of small talk instances. Talking about kids and family is okay. Do not, however, relay details of breastfeeding or (gasp) labor with your coworkers or their spouses. Remember, you have to see these people on Monday.
3. Moving on from the holiday party to holiday decorations: Do not decorate the outside or inside of your house with a one-toned lighting scheme, unless that color is white. Frankly, all you people that put up thousands of little red lights make your neighbors think that you just might be recreating Dante's fifth circle of hell.
4. Accept it, Christmas will never ever be as good as it was when you were five. No gift can ever equal your first Care Bear. Move on.
5. When composing your Christmas newsletter, give the details that people actually want to know about. This does not include every award won, car bought or, God forbid, raises given.

Move Over, Oprah

In the spirit of Oprah and every magazine in the universe, I've composed my own "favorite things" list for the holiday season. These would be for the ultra-discerning shopper.

I do not receive any sort of monetary gain from this list, however, should these companies like to personally thank me with some free stuff, I'd be up for it.

The List:

• Jane Boatman Geller Stationery: My friend Whitney and I are fairly obsessed with Jane's cool plaids and timeless preppiness. Visit www.janeboatmangellerco.com
  for info and to drool over her Christmas cards.
• Library of Congress Prints: This is not quite as dorky as it may sound. Turns out that as an American, you get the rights and copies of all the prints that the Library of Congress owns. So, looking for something for your Depression-baby grandfather? Try some old blank and white of a Hoover-ville. Or, simply search for your state or hometown to get some neat old pictures that would look oh-so-hip in pottery barn frames with black mats. The LOC's site is: www.loc.gov.
• Land of Nod: Need something for the half-pint in your family? If you can't find it here, they don't need it. Ohh and awww over the cute bedding, prints and vintage toys. Heck, if you don't have a kid to buy for, get it for yourself. www.landofnod.com.
• Tie It With A Bow: My friends and I received bags from this store last year for a bridesmaid's gift and have been complimented on them ever since. Make sure to get it monogrammed for that extra touch. www.tieitwithabow.com.
• Sephora: Finally, a store that you can register at before getting married or having a baby. Don't you deserve the makeup and bath treats you want all year long? Make sure to fill your registry and have your friends do the same. Your stocking stuffers may actually be stuff you want this year, instead of five toothbrushes and enough floss to circle the globe. www.sephora.com
• Browns on 5th: Zionsville, Indiana's own Vera Bradley supa-store. They have a HUGE selection of Vera and other fun girly stuff. Make sure to ask for free monogramming. www.brownson5th.com.
• One Horse Shy: Been looking for the perfect gift for your 90210-obsessed buddy? Get her (or him) the oh-so-cool Donna Martin Graduates t-shirt? It's a gem. www.onehorseshy.com.